i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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