So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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