There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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