Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
