that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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