well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
