But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
