We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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