A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
