My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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