Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we made out on top of his cat.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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