I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
