I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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