the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
