what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
