she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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