She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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