Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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