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She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
