Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
