Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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