U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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