Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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