i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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