i barfeds in our rink
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
