R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
