I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
