Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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