Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
