People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
