like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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