i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
