Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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