i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
