Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
