I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
