I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
