this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
