she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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