he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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