this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
