dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
