Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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