take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
