pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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