his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
