Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
