I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
