I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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