with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
