just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
