Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
