Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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