You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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