So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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