can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
me + whiskey = a bad person
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
